throughawindow

A transgender, bisexual, therian, non-exclusive nepiophile. Anti-contact and anti-CSA.

To summarize it, I've been abused by an anti.

Fulcrum is an online antimap who goes by Fulcrum_CJG on Twitter. Why I thought befriending him would be a good idea, I don't know.

The first time we talked, I had been joking about him being a map. Which he took as an excuse to threaten me. He threatened to hospitalize me, made fun of my rape, and sent death threats. Mind you, I'm a 14 year old and he's at least 30.

Then he posted a suicide note, and I reached out. I told him I didn't want him to kill himself because, you know, I have basic human decency. He apologized (somewhat), and we were at least on good terms.

Then he harassed my friend.

I reacted how you would expect me to, and we very much stopped being on good terms. He later sent me gore, like your average 30 year old interacting with a 14 year old. Completely normal. And then he threatened suicide, causing me to have a mental breakdown. 100% normal, nothing wrong here at all.

Then I tell Fulcrum I want to be an anti. That lasted about a day before I almost killed myself.

Well, then someone tries to groom me. I came to Fulcrum, and he promised he would make me feel LIKE MY GROOMER DID if I helped him dox people. Because it's completely normal for a grown man to promise to replicate grooming a 14 year old if said 14 year old doxxed people for him. Well I gave Fulcrum said groomers face.

Fast forwards a while, and I find out my friend is a fucking child porn dealer. This really sucked. I went to the moderators of MSC (in which he was banned from the platform) and then I decided to vent to Fulcunt. Who tried to get me to dox said child porn dealer, which I was unable to do.

So that night, Fulcrum asks my drunk ass to post that I'm friends with him on Twitter. Because MAPs are known for accepting those who hang out with their abusers. If I had to guess an ulterior motive, it would either be to isolate me from the MAP community (it worked) or to figure out what MAPs think about him.

Oh, and then he asks me, still drunk, for a fucking selfie. Then he says he won't dox me. That didn't hold up. Poorly aged things, get over here.

Now put Areonthebat_ in the picture.

Areon is a 15 year old groomer and child porn trader. About as popular as you'd guess. Well I try to phish him (a felony), and Fulcrum replies with a fucking heart emoji and offered to help me.

Google keeps catching the phishing page, so instead I try to bruteforce him (which is also illegal). Fulcrum provided tips, and then asked “doesn't it feel good?”

A while later, I defend Fulcrum to NNIA. Get ostracized. Told to leave. Fun shit. My alter, Axel, steps in, and makes a document about me being manipulated because I'm too emotionally neglected to notice and instead flock to anyone who shows affection. I'll link it below, it has screenshots and shit.

So a couple nights ago, Fulcrum posted that he's going to dox Ezekiel, one of my friends. I messaged him about this, to which Fulcrum threatened to kill Ezekiel if I didn't dox Karta, a groomed 13 year old who Fulcrum doesn't like. I agree to do it but later end up growing a spine due to the encouragement of my friends, and softblock him.

He then messages me, confused why I unfollowed. I tell him that it's because he threatened to kill my friend, and he makes it into a joke. I yell at him a bit more and submit an anonymous thing to antimap tipline on twitter. Fulcrum, who has my phone number due to a fuckup on telegram, promised to dox me. I don't back down, and rather go public with all the shit that's been happening.

I get varied reactions. The majority are either saying I made it up (and then discrediting any proof I have) or just not caring. Ironic, considering that they say we let abusers go unnoticed in our community.

Anyway, those are my renditions of events.

My alter’s (less emotional) story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1plebtpEY3hQQRyUh1SsLg7kgzHiPpO-h5NVx5kapJck/mobilebasic

At first that sounds contradictory. Why wouldn't it? But we're very real. In this post I will be talking about who white passing POC, namely white passing Native Americans.

Historically, Native Americans have been treated like shit, and no one even cares. 1/3 of Native American women have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Many have been raped. It's that very oppression, namely sexual violence, that is responsible for the large amounts of white passing Native Americans.

It's common for white men to objectify Native American women, and it was extremely common for Native American women to be raped by white men, and get pregnant. Far more common than consensual pregnancies. Due to this, a large amount of biracial Native Americans were born.

There is another phenomenon present, one that shouldn't involve Natives but it does. People want oppression points. Being a white-passing POC is something where most people won't know if you're lying or not, and that's been exploited beyond belief. Due to the influx of white people claiming Native heritage, actual white passing Natives are all treated like fakers.

I myself am partially Native American. It's an important part of my identity, and has shaped most, if not all, of my views on ownership, animals, land, and respect. If it weren't for my Native American heritage, I would be a different person than I am today.

Despite that, my right to calling myself a Native is controversial. And I do understand that, somewhat. I will not face the systematic oppression that still affects many natives today, and I acknowledge that and do not speak on what I haven't experienced.

However, people still restrict my right to my heritage as a whole. And it hurts. What is is is stripping an integral part of me, ultimately saying I can't be me.

What makes someone Native American?

It is more than just oppression. We do not need to define ourselves by our trauma; we need to define ourselves by our culture. We were Native even when we were the majority; we were Native when we still had our land; we were Native when being Native was safe; we were Native before we had our culture stolen from us.

My identity is not a controversy. This is my identity, this is my blood, and I will not apologize for calling myself what I am. I am Native American.

Most anti’s don’t actually care about kids.

A lot of MAPs – myself included – are kids. Yet I have 6 failed doxxing attempts against me, countless suicide baiters, and even rape threats. The rape threats were from two adult men. In order to protect children, they threatened to rape a 14 year old. Do you see the problem here?

A massive amount of the MAP community is made up of minors. This is most likely because when a MAP first realizes “oh shit, I’m attracted to kids,” they want community and support. They don’t yet know how to cope with their attractions, they don’t yet know how to prevent offending, and they’re scared as shit. Their friends, family, random strangers online, are all saying that the minor in question is an evil child molester. They might want to get their voice heard, or they may just want to be near other people who understand them.

What do antis care about then?

Hatred.

MAPs are seen as a deformed minority. Humans put so much value on sex and attractions, when someone’s attractions are against the norm the new sexual deviant is targeted. Humans are famous for attacking those who are different.

I believe that’s an evolutionary characteristic. If someone who looked very unlike your family wandered into your cave, there’s a good chance that they’d be dangerous.

Of course that’s ridiculously unnecessary in today’s world. America is a mixing pot now, whether it be other races or other sexual orientations. It’s all about the hatred, and always will be about the hatred.